Darker Pasts / Brighter Futures

by MNOP

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1.
02:25
where you want to write letters from is somewhere sunny and pretty and warm but what passes through your head or passes for your heart or reaches through the edges of your doubt means nothing more than anything that you have ever said out loud i wanna write songs like monuments like bench legs in dust like when you see your ex lover on the back of a crowded bus for your prologues and endings and future keep-goings for all those true things that were never truly real trust me when i say that pain is the best thing you could feel these days are review mirrors that reveal a new side of your face and when you're looking back, yeah you always hesitate for the long walk after a hard talk and your heart's beating in your throat and it's such a sign of life you think you'll choke so love your limits and your fears because of everything about you, they won't always be here to give you solace for your failures and the things your never reached for and leave you with a lingering sense of regret for each and every one of them and i'm not here to pretend that i know who you are or where you've been.
2.
01:46
i leave for L.A. in the a.m. and we haven't spoken in over three weeks and i thought i was broken when i drove south but i've done some thinking do you want do you wanna hear my thoughts on bullets and walls made of knives that i worship and that i wished i looked something like each bridge that we cross is a bridge that we build but i wish i had lost some of those supports to that current cos i regret some things that i've done and i've said but i can't hold on to what meant most back then and the water carried what i'd learned but i wish i'd listened well it's no religion to be teaching me chords standing on a rainy porch though i had prayed that at least it would mean something more and for every ending a beginning is a cure you had passed out drunk i was waiting outside your door.
3.
living in my mind are infinite scenarios of you and i where your perfection never dies it's a mental paradise where we both grow old side by side and persisting in my mind are infinite scenarios of how i'll die of cancer in my stomach or sleeping on a long drive or passing alone in the quiet waiting, i was only waiting in anticipation of the fatal flaws marked on the walls of that subway station and he was only itching for what lay between my legs his fingers crossed and soaked in warmth that i gave off was i just imagining all of this? while my mind was promising future bliss did i just imagine your kiss? while my heart was breaking from that respite your promises are dressed in blue and waking on a sunday, clean and bright as new but in the end, they were buried without dirt but high and dry and out of sight or so i heard and within these city gridlines are infinite scenarios and various experiments of life but your jaw is breaking from the movements of your mouth and the weight of CO2 that you put out waiting, i was only waiting in anticipation of the fatal flaws marked on the walls of that subway station and he was only itching for what lay between my legs his fingers crossed and soaked in warmth that i gave off was i just imagining all of this? while my mind was promising future bliss did i just imagine your kiss? while my heart was breaking from that respite
4.
keep your gun pointed up you know who you are and you know what you got i can't stand, no i can't tolerate the dreams you had of running away of running away of running keep your tongue in my mouth just to keep these words from coming out hold your gun to my mouth and pray these words stop coming out stop coming out stop coming start running broken glass in my bed you best not ask cos you know what's next yeah you've seen it ahead you've seen it do you mean it hold your gun to my mouth and pray these words stop coming out i was locked inside that house just to keep my thoughts from racing around i was bent out of shape, across the whole continent and through all these doubts i'm crying out loud i'm crying i'm dying.
5.
why do we keep the ashes? different time different place and i don't have the space and your covers, they may change as long as your bed stays the same
6.
one day they broke into your house to find an underground cavern that held a mine of 30 something 20 somethings that had died for intimacy's sacrifice oh john wayne gacy, it would not suffice cos you were past the age capacity where your behavior flew under the radar so instead to amend your father's insistences that you were just a bastard and no child of his you went on a hunt to find and take what others had in the prime of their lives maybe it was just a simple matter of penis size but unmistakable was the relief when you saw the lights go out in their eyes you had no defense against the things that lived under your bed and your doorstep you were so inviting on your exterior side but had no one to console you otherwise and tell you everything is gonna be alright everything is gonna be just fine
7.
elizabeth edwards took the last train home when i was comatose, death by radio and all of my idols are smoldered in ash and i hope the ones that i love haven't already passed cos i haven't watched the family pulse while making a brand new life on a brand new coast and there's two thousand miles and five nights to go and the mississippi can't help but flow wrapped in my bed is where i drown in deep thinking i'm trying to breathe but i'm steadily sinking and smoking friends' cigarettes and watching them burn as if life was weighed out in the breaths you had earned and if i had to give one more to my monologues where i'm saying i love you and fuck you at the same time then i might as well keep on killing myself or grow up some more cos i've heard it all before wisdom begins when you're bleeding through stitches half wishing it ends like sylvia in the kitchen but those feelings are fleeting of needing self-harm when you've etched their eulogies on the side of your arm and nobody gave her credit for the passion and grace of what her words gave to the strength in her veins cos when you're chewing on bitterness and choking on spite it's impossible not to feel alive what passes through satellites is not subsitute enough for the carbon we exchanged on holidays and rough nights and the price of our talking even outweights all the oil and the sins that i have to pay for i'll be cashing in on promises and breaking the rest hoping for the worst and doing my best when there's one hundred lovers and ninety nine nights to go before i feel like a stretch of empty road
8.
i got poison ivy from the other night when i spread my legs on a bed of vines and now the scabs make all the constellations i could never find comparatively these damages make my lungs and my heart look healthy and we're wishing on the brightest scar and putting bandages on every star plus i'm a little broke now so give me a little time and space and let these leaves change and i'll get out of town anxiety strikes like sharks in shallow water as a swimmer thought they'd never be unseen but it's too late so make it clean and lately i've been thinking sex and drugs are for insomniacs and criminals and freaks conditioned to believe that life's one big scary movie all you have to do is not watch the screen plus i'm a little drunk now so give me a cigarette and let me throw up in the bathroom and i'll be good for another round comparatively damning you to hell wouldn't elevate me and after february i swore to never write another song about my lover just one other thing to burn and if i'm wrong about you, then i guess it's my turn.
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02:38
15.

about

Hey everyone!

It's finally here. I've been working on this album for a little over a year and I'm happy to say it's finally finished. Thanks so much to everyone who supported me with it.

This album has been a really big dream of mine, although I don't believe any musician who says that they only make music for themselves. These songs are for you as much as they are for me. So thanks for listening, I appreciate it more than you know.

The song "Washington" is actually not on here, since I didn't have time to finish recording it, but rest assured that I'll be putting out more music soon.


Thanks for listening!!!

credits

released November 28, 2012

Track 1:
Produced by Trestan Matel

Track 3:
Accordion by Jessi Savannah
Ukelele and vocals by Delilah Ohrstrom
Guitar and Vocals by Alex Harris

Track 7:
Produced by Trestan Matel
Harmonizing vocals and mouth harp by Trestan Matel

Track 8:
Produced by Trestan Matel

Cover art and banner by Amelia Hazen and Brian Rawn

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about

MNOP New York

Hailing from NYC and drawing inspiration from folk-punk, surf rock and indie, MNOP delivers high energy dynamic bangers with an emphasis on lyrical explorations of love, loss and everything in between. Who says existential crisis can’t rock? Probably no one, but if they do, MNOP is here to melt faces and work through our feelings together. Because that’s what friends are for. ... more

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